"It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half the evils we anticipate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what might happen."
(Herodotus, 485–425 BC)
My experience in Newfoundland over the past few years has inspired mixed feelings. On one hand, I’ve cultivated some wonderful friendships here.
I’m truly grateful to be surrounded by kind, caring individuals, and I'm very lucky for the opportunities I've been given. However, I don’t feel like I’m hyperbolizing when I say that St. John's has sucked the life out of me.
I acknowledge that several stressful events, which I won’t delve into, have contributed to my current state of being; this state is difficult to define but could be adequately described by a combination of “meh” and “fuck this shit” (profanity is necessary to properly convey my feelings, I assure you).
Regardless of my personal circumstances, the city itself has imposed an unwanted influence: defending against the frequent assaults by the elements (snow, rain, wind, or some hellish hybrid) is both futile and draining. The prevailing dreariness makes me feel like a lost soul wandering in a state of purgatory, half expecting the grim reaper of Newfoundland (who probably rides a moose) to materialize and push me over the edge (of Signal Hill? The fifth floor of the chemistry building?). Not exactly the love story I was hoping for.
Ain't nobody got time be a sitting duck.
Despite my wavering devotion to my life here, one aspect has kept me afloat (so I've been a sitting, yet floating, duck, at least). I've always been passionate about my martial art, Muay Thai. Since I began training a few years ago, I have not only developed my physical fitness; Muay Thai has helped me to grasp my sense of self, if that makes any sense. I suppose it only needs to make sense to me. My amazing friends at my gym, 8 Limb Muay Thai, are also like a second family.
So, long story short, I'm heading to Thailand for two-and-a-half months. I'm taking off tonight, actually. The idea of a “prescription” vacation (e.g., resort, cruise, Disney World) never appealed to me. I don’t need sedation; I need an ample dose of adrenaline. I need a new challenge. Immersing myself in an entirely different culture is one way to do this.
First, I'll be heading to Lanna Doi Modt Hill Camp in Chiang Mai. I'm very much looking forward to being incommunicado for a week. After I descend the hill, I'll be training at Lanna Kiat Busaba. I'm leaving the rest to adventure.
I don't actually know if I'll end up in a jungle, but I'm really hoping so.
In Flatrock, Newfoundland, contemplating my escape